18 hours ago
Jazmine Reko ( @jazie_r )
You know that broken hearted feeling when you go through a breakup? That gut wrenching feeling that feels like it'll drop you to your knees? The hollow feeling in your heart? That's the feeling I felt when Robert gave me the news that he'd be deployed by the end of the week, but then he got a call saying it was actually going to be sooner. He's officially going on deployment. I knew it was a matter of time, a waiting game, but I was hoping it wouldn't come so suddenly. I tend to transition myself into major life changes, but how can you transition into something so life changing in such a short time? He's been so present these last 3 years, and he's now going straight to deployment.
I'm so grateful for the time we have been able to have together, and I know this new chapter of our lives will bring on new challenges to our family. I don't know when he'll be back, I don't know what his actual schedule will be like, how many underways he'll be going on, or whether he'll have duty every 3 days, but I know it's something we'll adjust to and work through together. Our shore duty time of a regular 7-3ish, no deployments, and being able to come home on duty days is done. It was a sweet sweet time, but it is now time to move on to a new phase in our lives.
I'm not going to sugar coat this. This really f***ing sucks! I'm feeling all the feelings, but I'm looking for the light in this situation. I'm looking for the strength and courage to get through this deployment. I know it will come. Wolves are resilient animals, they are strong and intimidating standing together as a pack, as they are standing alone. "For the strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack." - Rudyard Kipling. Even if Robert is not physically present, we stand behind him as a pack. This mama Wolf will make it through with strength and courage. Thanks @nataliemariecreations for making these shirts to remind me that we will get through this.
For now, I'm soaking in all the hugs, kisses, witty one liners, and laughs before we have to say "see you later." We will miss you so much my love and will pray for this time to pass quickly. Your pack loves you immensely. 💙