20 hours ago
Meme Dealer ( @90dayharvestusd )
Russ comes to “Hossband Anonymous” meeting.
“Hi everyone, my name is Russ and I’m married to a wannabe model from Bucaramanga, Colombia.
At first everything went well. I thought I found myself a sexy foreigner girl who will recognize me as a mighty American alpha male. Thinking back, I realize I cannot even call myself a beta male anymore. I imported her to Oklahoma and at first things couldn’t have been much better. I got to feed her bull’s tеstiсles to show my supremacy. My savage mom dissed her for wearing revealing PJ’s. I felt swell. It went downhill from there.
My wife escaped to Miami to pursue her modelling career. Even Jesse told her it’s a delusion, but she was determined. I had to quit my well-paying job and find a new field in Miami, cause the only oil found in Florida was used for my wife’s half naked photoshoots. I opposed her doing the shoots, but I have given up as always.
I’ve gained 20 pounds because I kept confusing tea with pооp tea she promoted. She became vegan. I’m eating grapes as a snack. Andrei gets to eat Cheetos. Not fair. I miss meat. When my son grows up, we will go on “yoga retreats” (can’t go hunting!) and secretly go to the steak house. God, I miss steak!
My wife wanted to give birth in a pool, but she settled for a bed. The midwife said she could deliver in the parking lot, so the bed was a reasonable alternative. Yes, she was naked on the show when giving birth, but that’s fine, no one would find that sexy. Unless... Caesar?
I drink one beer a month and then my wife trashes me on Twitter for that. More so, the only beer I’m allowed to drink is gluten free.
My wife is an anti-vaxxer. After a couple of sleepless nights reading about chickenpox, diphtheria and polio on Wikipedia I’ve decided I don’t want to cause an outbreak in Florida. I’ve heard about increased drug problems in Bradenton and didn’t want to add up to it. Little does my wife know I posted the picture with the beer to distract her so I could sneak my son to a clinic to do the shots. It’s super easy to sneak the baby out as she chooses IG filters for two hours.
I need help!” #90dayfiance #90dayfiancehappilyeverafter #90dayfiancepillowtalk